Excuses

Excuses ... lately I seem to have a lot of them when it comes to my weight loss and activity/exercise ...
 

• I'm too tired ...
• It's raining ...
• Just a few extra cookies or chips won't hurt ...
• I'm having some "issues" ...
• I have this "thing" going on ...

 Really, we all have excuses for whatever it is we don't want to get done.

I started posting a "meme" on Facebook just about every day this past week to encourage and motivate me and others. (I didn't even know what these little picture things were called; my daughter had to enlighten me.) One of them said, "Because today is another chance to get it right." Lately, I have been feeling that every single day I have failed on my weight loss plan.  Instead of looking at the long-term progress made, I've looked at the day's failures.  And then I begin making excuses (see list above).  I've always been a good excuse-maker.  I know a lot of people who are good excuse-makers...I'd wager that I'm better at it than most people.  And I can make you feel pretty lousy if you question my excuse!

So what's behind my excuses? What's the reason I make them? I'm still trying to figure that out. Part of it is a desire to be perfect. If I can't get it perfect, I either want to quit or start over. I'm a little obsessive-compulsive and it bothers me when things aren't just so-so. I'm also a pleaser. I want everyone to be happy; I want to fix everything to make it right. That behavior leaves me depleted and without much left over for me. Looking back at my first year on Weight Watchers, I can remember feeling guilty that I was taking such good care of myself. No one else was suffering or complaining ... meals were still cooked, laundry was still done, etc. etc. I just made preparing my own meals and exercising a higher priority than I ever had before.  But I still felt guilty because what I was doing was not only changing me and my habits, but changing things for those around me also.

Uh-oh ... there it is ... change.  That is probably the biggest reason for my excuse-making.  It is easy for me to go back to the familiar and stay the same. It is frightening to me to see my habits changing, to see my body changing.  It is, at times, exhilarating, but it is also unfamiliar.  It requires a new way of doing things and sometimes a new way of thinking.  It was appropriate that the topic of our meeting this week at Weight Watchers was about habits. It is so difficult to break an old habit, or establish a new habit. It all has to do with that word "change." But baby stepping my way out of the bad and into the good can make habit-changing simpler.  Each baby step will make me stronger and stronger, more skilled, more self-confident, and more successful.

My goal for this week of habit-changing is to not use any of those excuses (and not come up with any new ones either!), but just get the job done.  It won't be perfect ... it doesn't have to be perfect.  And every day IS another chance to get it right!

Road Trip Anyone?

(I am shamelessly stealing this analogy from my Weight Watchers leader, Ellen … but I am totally giving her credit for it!)

How excited would you be if someone asked you to accompany them on a trip across the country?  You know … like from LA to L.A.?  That’s about 2,000 miles.  Pretty fun, huh?  So you get all ready to hit the road, then they announce to you that you’re going to be walking instead of driving or flying.  Now how excited are you?  Maybe not so much …

That was the analogy presented to us this week and how it applies to our weight loss journey … because believe me, it is a journey … and it is often like walking 2,000 miles. 

Walking in the door and perhaps the first few weeks are like the initial excitement/anticipation of the trip – planning the route, where you’ll stay, what you’ll see when you get there.  Then reality sets in – we’re going to be walking?  This might take longer than I thought … how do I plan for this?  What will keep me motivated to reach my destination?

With every trip, there are unforeseen detours, stops, side trips, slow downs and sometimes break downs!

You’re walking along at a pretty fair pace and up ahead there is a detour … you’ve got your meal plan laid out for the day, then that friend calls that you haven’t seen or heard from in ages and wants to “do lunch.”  At a not-too-points-friendly restaurant.  Well, you know, this is a special occasion … just this one time won’t hurt.  So you detour off your meal plan and order that higher points meal and split dessert.  Definitely not a deal-breaker, but certainly a detour off your original path.  How do you find the motivation to get back on track?  For me, it means honestly evaluating the meal, counting all the points for it, tracking it … and moving on.  There are always going to be detours on the road … if we follow all the signs, we’ll get back on the right road.

Sometimes, when you’re walking, you just get tired … you just feel like you have to stop and rest … that’s okay!  We’ve all been there.  Your body needs the rest.  It doesn’t mean you completely derail all the progress you’ve made.  You take the rest you need, find strength in the rest, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and hit the road again.  It could be that you’ve injured yourself, you’re facing a health issue, you’re going through a family crisis … whatever it is that is forcing the rest … just rest.  Look at all the progress you’ve made up to this point … look at the big picture, not the little rest you’re taking – find your motivation in that.

Even if you take a side trip or have a complete break down – look how far you’ve come.  Ever been stuck in traffic for a while and you begin to see cars turning around?  Then in just a minute or two, it clears up and you’re on your way again.  Don’t get that close to the finish line and turn around and head back in the other direction!  You’ve come too far!  Push on … you CAN do it. 

Losing weight is not easy … let me say that again … losing weight is NOT easy.  For those of us who have a lot of weight to lose (and truthfully, whether it’s 15 pounds or 150 pounds or more, it’s a lot to each person individually), it is tempting to buy into the commercialism of an “easy” fix … whether it’s the latest diet craze, some new miracle pill or surgery.  There is no easy fix … let me say THAT again … there is NO EASY FIX!  It is a long, hard road.  When I walked through the doors of Weight Watchers 16 months ago, I knew that this was possibly my last chance to really make an honest-to-goodness attempt at losing weight.  For me, the motivation was (and, in large part, still is) not wanting to face a surgeon’s knife to deal with my morbid obesity.  Because I knew that is where I was headed - either as a “willing” candidate for weight reduction surgery or as an unwilling patient to deal with one of the effects of my morbid obesity.

So how to stay motivated as you trek the 2,000 miles?  Lots of ways … surround yourself with the tools you need to be successful, become a little bit selfish when it comes to your weight loss goals, start talking differently, reward yourself for every goal achieved. 

I’m learning to clean out my surroundings and keep them clean.  I just can’t keep M&Ms around anymore – sorry to everyone who has missed that jar from my desk.  I’ve replaced those with other options, tools, to keep me motivated and successful.  I’ve talked in previous posts about the amazing RunKeeper app on my phone that tracks my walking progress.  Well, now I’ve paired that with a Pandora radio station and I can walk to all the 70’s disco music I want!  Don’t hate …

I’m learning that the things I have said to myself about my weight for decades are things I would never say to a friend who was facing a weight problem … so why should I say them to myself?  Why should I belittle myself?  Why should I be so hard on myself?  Why don’t I point to the positive changes I’ve made instead of the way my belly is still jelly? 

And possibly, the best motivator?  Start rewarding yourself!  It doesn’t have to be a huge thing … celebrate that five-pound loss with a new pair of earrings (after all, accessories are one-size-fits-all – I can still wear the same earrings I wore in high school – I’ll bet you can too!) … celebrate sticking to your plan for a week by heading to the library and checking out that great new book you’ve wanted to read and read it … celebrate when you’ve been physically active all week by buying a new set of earbuds and tune in to that disco station!

So, where am I on this 2,000 mile trek?  I’m somewhere around Ft. Stockton, Texas.  And I can’t tell you how very, very fitting that is for this part of my journey.  It’s almost laughable and certainly ironic how perfectly fitting this post is with where I am … anybody ever been to Ft. Stockton?!

...please push the play button...

24 days ... 576 hours.  That's how long it's been since I've last been out for a good, long, sweat-pouring, hard-breathing, music-loud-in-the-ears walk!  Too long.  Never thought I would say those words!! 

First the blood pressure ... then the foot numbness ... now the blood pressure again.  I'm growing impatient.  I want to get out there and walk... I'm eager, but I'm scared.  Will I be able to do it?  Will I build up to where I was before? 

18 days ... 432 hours.  That's how long until the 10K.  What will I be able to do?  How far?  How fast?

4.4 pounds ... 70 ounces.  That's how much I've gained back ... not so much from eating as from the complications I'm having.  But still ... it scares me.  I've worked too hard, come too far. 

I'm determined ... a setback is a setup for a comeback. 

Please...just push the play button and let's get re-started!!

Getting Back on Track

It’s easy to write about the good things that are happening or when things are going right, but when things are not going so great, it’s a little harder to share that…

I’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster since the end of October.  I haven’t stopped losing or exercising or tracking or going to meetings…I’ve just been up and down.  And that’s hard to admit!  Still managing an average weight loss of about .75 pounds a week; still managing to exercise 5 days a week, always tracking, not missing any meetings…and yet…

The “spark” that I had in the beginning of this journey just hasn’t been there for a while.  I’ve had to stop and really look at my motivation, my desire, my goal for this whole process.  I was starting to feel deprived in some weird way.  Like I wasn’t ever going to get to eat and enjoy the things I love (how dumb is that-I’ve been eating them all along!).  Or that I would always fight this feeling of never being good enough…no, never being perfect enough.  I’d started to look at the huge amount of weight still to lose and began to wonder if the rest of the battle was worth it or if I could just stop and be satisfied with what I had accomplished.  After all, I feel so much better, my clothes fit better, my doctor says I’m in better health, people tell me I look better…

But there have been some challenges along the way…most recently some health challenges.  Not anything major, just mostly the effects of having lived a sedentary lifestyle for the past 25+ years and carrying around nearly 150 pounds of extra weight for all that time (I guess that’s pretty major).  The last couple of weeks have had me contemplating and refocusing.  When challenges arise or things change in my life, particularly when they change in ways that I don’t understand or desire (!), I really have to take a step back, process the information, line it up with God’s Word and try to make sense of it…and I know I can’t always make sense of it.  The biggest problem is that I think I can do all of the changing…all of the processing…all of the FIXING.  I’ve been a fixer…always have been.  I don’t want people to be unhappy; I don’t like confrontation; I don’t like change.  I want to make things right for everyone.  And things in our lives are not always sunny and rosy and right.  We are going to face challenges, defeats, disappointments and CHANGE. 

Yet…in the midst of the challenges and the changes, there is one constant in my life that I know never changes.  One constant that always succeeds in getting me back on track.  When I align myself with God’s Word and His Ways, no matter the challenges, He will see me through.  There’s great comfort, peace and assurance for this weary soul in that promise.  Is there for you?